AAA_Ed
September 28th, 2006, 07:18 PM
This story is an attempt at comedy…..the names have been changed to protect the guilty! There’s no telling if any of this is true or if it’s all just made up BS……but surely you’ll wish you could be Ed by the time you’re done reading.
It all started late in the day when AAA_Ed was waiting on the launch ramp to pick up his partner's boat. While in line he notices a rather dilapidated rig ahead of him having trouble loading his boat…..he probably wouldn’t have noticed this rig except that the Captain fired up his motor with it tilted all the way up then casually reached behind to the splashwell to trim down into the water……..Ed murmured to himself….with my luck, I’ll get paired with this guy!
Later that night, Ed calls the guy he’s paired with the next day to make the usual arrangements….he’s paired with….we’ll Call Him JQ….. Now JQ’s had a bad day…..never got so much as a bite….weighed in one fish caught by his partner. When JQ describes his truck and boat, Ed realizes that he had cursed himself with what he’d said earlier on the ramp…..
Now JQ gets his name cuz he sorta resembles a Buccaneer…no, not the football wielding kind…the sabre wielding fellers decorated with shiny rings, tattoos, and piercings and that fancy patch of whiskers on his chin…..yessir, JQ would make a mighty fine pirate.
Ed thought long and hard about offering to bring his own boat tomorrow but figured…”how bad could it be?”….besides…that might offend this feller, and the last thing Ed wanted to was to offend good ‘ol JQ the pirate!
So the next morning Ed meets JQ on the ramp as planned…..as he’s loading his gear into the “boat” a sick feeling comes over him and his right heel periodically moves towards his hind end kinda sending a subliminal message that Ed had screwed up by leaving his boat at the hotel. Ed’s fancy schmancy rods are dangling precariously over the side of the “boat” so Ed quickly figures out a way to tie ‘em down with a bungee he’s got tucked away. Later he’s gonna hafta figure out how to cast over them since they’re standin damn near straight up…..
At this point, JQ goes through how he wants the boat backed into the lake and politely informs Ed that after parking the tow rig, he’s gotta release the hood, and disconnect the battery cable….”otherwise the battery’ll be dead when we get back”……Ed felt a slight bit of comfort that JQ was confident we’d “get back”.
Ed fires up the rig with a mighty rumble and is gently serenaded at 90 decibels by the lulling sounds of a viscous rotweiler attacking the neighbor……better known as Pantera…or some such band…… this lullaby emanating from JQ’s premium Hi Fi stereo system…Ed fumbles around and finds a muzzle for the barking dawg and turns off the radio. As Ed drives through the livewell check line, he informs one of the staffers that he doesn’t think ‘ol JQ’s pirate boat will make it through the day and asks how this one slipped by the tech inspection……evidently, there ain’t no tech inspection at this prestigious event. Mr Staffer recommends that Ed speak to the Tourney Director if he’s really THAT concerned…..
Ed parks the truck pops the hood, pulls the cable….then realizes that he forgot to use the electric locks and walks around locking each door by hand…..some of the doors didn’t have no door panels, and Ed’s wish’in he had his flashlight.
Ed takes Mr Staffer’s advice and talks to Mr. Tourney Driector. Mr TD asks…what kinda boat is it? Ed scratches his head and all be damned but he don’t even know….”never heard of it” says Ed…..Mr TD eventually says.”nobody’s forcing you to go out today”..and that was that……well, Ed see’s how it’s gonna be and hopes his insurance is paid up as he marches to the ramp…..”hey at least we’re in the first flight……with a low number!” says Ed.
Ed hops in the “boat” and quickly notices the front light isn’t working…..he asks JQ about the light…..JQ says it’s probably the bulb and proceeds to idle out towards the line up. Now Ed’s not one to sit around so he takes it upon himself to fix the light…..he takes it apart and finds the bulb is OK….informs JQ (who doesn’t seem to care that Ed is dismantling his “boat” without first asking)….Now JQ casually says “the wires musta broke when we was in that rough water yesterday…….ya see…the troll batteries are in the rod locker cuz the wiring is all fried and the motor wont work with the batteries in the back….so I wired it up direct”……Ed notes the heavy wires leading out of the rod locker to some of them fancy clips he seen on one of them battery chargers…..looks like you clamp to that bare part of the wire leadin to the troll motor when ya wanna use it……Lucky for Ed, JQ has wrapped the black wire in tape….musta been some fireworks in the rough water…..About that time, the bilge pump kicks in and pumps for a few seconds and shuts off……”is that normal?” says Ed….”yup…..something back there leaks a little”……”ever thought about fixing that?” says Ed…..”well I just got it out of the shop…had to pay $1300 but I guess they didn’t fix that”………”that’s why I didn’t get to practice”…..”oh, I see…well at least the pump works!” says Ed…..JQ’s performance yesterday is startin to make sense and Ed’s done bruised his right heel tryin to kick hisself in the rear.
Ed doesn’t get anywhere with the light and JQ doesn’t seem the least bit compelled to fix it so he heads up to the front part of the line……Ed informs JQ that they’re gonna send him to the back of the line….but JQ is confident they “wont notice” and we’ll slip through.
Well, sure enough, they call JQ and Ed’s number and they get sent off to the side…….and watch 133 boats go by…Ed didn’t realize what a cluster @$%! It was to launch a tourney…this is a great opportunity to see some things he don’t normally get to watch…..bumper boats is the best way to describe it…last boat is called and we’re cleared for take-off. Bilge pump still works as is evident by the strong stream pumping out the side again…..that’s good!….Ed says to himself…..Ed says a prayer to the big guy and hopes the wind don’t blow…..Ed’s a good swimmer but he never sent his tackle and rods to swimming lessons……Ed’s heel twitches again…
JQ heads for open water and does his thing with the trim back behind the seat and we’re off like a herd of turtles. Surely a 17’ boat with a 150 will get up and go……we top out at a brisk 42 Mph as we head to fertile fishing grounds……Ed never realized how cool a fast boat looks screaming past you but he don’t like getting sprayed by the rooster tail all that much…
Arriving at the first spot, Ed is comforted a bit cause he’s fished this spot before and did pretty good….Ed knows he’s gonna fish and hey….at least Ed didn’t have to swim to get there. JQ asks Ed….”what should we throw”….so Ed recommends a topwater or some sort of reaction for the front of the boat and something slower to bring up the rear…….well….they fish around for a couple of hours catching a dink here and there…..then ED hooks into a decent keeper and hollers for the net. All right we’re on the board exclaims Ed as he swings the fish in……and into the livewell goes a nice pound and ¾ largemouth. JQ proceeds to fill up the wells then requests that Ed help him to remember that they’ll need to occasionally fill em back up….”cuz the hoses back there leak a little”. No worries. Ed’ll help remember….the bilge kicks in, and once again, proves that it’s still functioning.
Ed checks the fish a bit later and sure enough, jaws’ dorsal is hanging out of the water…..JQ fills ‘er up and Jaws is happy once again……JQ informs Ed that if we forget, the fish will just flop around and let us know, so there’s nothing to worry about……Good to know JQ’s got this all figured out…
Now JQ is prolly one of the nicest people Ed’s ever met and he’s having a hard time getting mad at ‘em despite JQ’s casual approach to fishing. Ya see….JQ likes to take a lot of breaks…..he musta had some sore muscles cause he stretched a lot….and JQ must have sumthin against fishing and eating candy bars….and fishing and smoking cigarettes…and fishin and drinking sodie pop, cuz he didn’t like doin either one at the same time….ever’bodys got their hang ups thinks Ed….
Well… by now it’s closing in on 9:30 and Ed n JQ are fishing into “the wind”…..Ed notices that they aint movin and asks JQ what’s wrong……JQ says he thinks his trolling battery is about dead cuz he got the motor on high and he just can’t buck this 5 Mph hurricane……but Ed is comforted once again when JQ notifies him that he charged the battery the night before and he’s got a spare “just in case”. There goes the bilge again….nice to know it’s still workin.
JQ and Ed decide they’re gonna make a move…but first JQ fills up the wells……well, JQ musta filled ‘em up too much cuz they can’t plane out…Ed takes a seat on the deck but that don’t seem to help much…..so they stop and let ‘em drain a little……alas they’re on plane and headed for the deep blue sea….Ed checks his life vest and gazes at his gear as if it’s the last time they may see each other…..
JQ tells Ed where they’re goin….and Ed notices that it’s a little windy out thata way…and asks if it’s safe to go that far……JQ states with confidence that he filled up the tank last night and that there’s plenty of gas..Ed was thinking along some other “safety lines” but this gas thing has him curious…..Ed inquires as to how much fuel this rig holds……..”sixteen gallons” JQ proudly exclaims……Ed gets that sickly feeling again as JQ explains how they nearly ran outta gas yesterday……so Ed talks JQ into a spot that’s just a little closer……
They arrive at Ed’s spot when Ed checks on Mr Jaws…….and sees that there aint no water in the well!!……”Hey JQ…better give the fishy some water” “oh yeah” says JQ…..”the livewell drains out when I run”……..Ed proclaims “that just ain’t right….don’tcha think you oughta fix that?”…..”yeah….but them hoses are real hard to get to” says JQ. Ed stands there in a stupor wondering how he’s ever gonna get as good as ‘ol JQ the pirate and become a Pro…..
After a bit of fishing, Ed notices that there aint no wind and they aint hardly movin……”whattya think about switchin out that troll battery” says Ed……”hmmmm….I guess I could do that” JQ replies reluctantly…..so JQ proceeds to unwrap the bare wires from one battery and hooks ‘em up the “good” battery. To Ed’s astonishment the “good” battery appeared to be almost as dead as the old one…but at least the “boat” will now move!
Ed’s frustration finally gets the best of him and he commandeers the front of the boat and begins working the grassline on the outside of the reef they’re fishing.
Ed manages to catch one more keeper sized fish but his hopes are dimming quickly as the clock races towards weigh in time. This is Ed’s 7th fish but only 2 are of the legal size limit…..dammit…..Ed thinks….he shoulda brought his RonCo fish stretcher…..
Ed now asks how long it will take to get in from way out here…….”20 minutes, but we’ll give ourselves 30…just in case” says JQ…now that’s the best idea JQ’s had all day, or so Ed thought…..Ed informs JQ that he’d like to fish up to the last minute and that maybe JQ should get all his gear in order while Ed fished…seeins how JQ likes to take his time and such..…JQ agrees and they fish on….lookin for that one last bite……….
The clock ticks on and it’s time to start packing….Ed advises JQ to pack up…we gotta get goin in a couple minutes……..so JQ casually fishes on…..Ed decides to start gathering up some gear to give ‘ol JQ the hint……but JQ fishes on…..They’re now down to 26 minutes to get in and Ed’s getting nervous…..he pulls up the trolling motor and attempts to strap the motor down and wonders what’s actually holding it on the boat to begin with……It kinda moved like one of them slinky toys when ya folded it up………JQ states that it’s “a little tricky” to tie down and that he better do it…………Ed agrees….
Ed checks the wells and asks if there’s enough water to make weigh in???….JQ says they’ll probably have to stop along they way fo fill ‘em up.
They head off……JQ reaches back to do his trim thing…..the turtles strain to break into a stampede but it just ain’t happenin……..Ed jumps up on the front and feels like a surfer riding “the big one” as the boat finally rocks over and gets on plane…the turtles sigh in relief…..”at least the wind’s not blowing” Ed thinks to himself……
As they race towards weigh-in Ed checks on the fish…..4” remaining…..doesn’t look good for Mr and Mrs Jaws……..JQ asks if they should stop to fill ‘em up……so Ed points to his watch and asks if they have time to make it in as is…..JQ says it’s gonna be close……..so Ed keeps an eye on the fish as they briskly race to the launch…a steady 38 Mph and the SS Minnow’s holdin togeter. ….Ed’s feelin a little sumthin on the back of his neck and keeps lookin around……..he don’t see what’s tickin his neck…then out the corner of his eye he spots the water pressure tube back at the motor….spraying a cool stream a water right at the back of his head……what a nice feature Ed thinks to himself……built in Arizona Misters……I gotta get me some of these for my boat……
Ed looks at the fish again and they’s down to 1 ½ inches of water…..Ed’s glad he’s not a fish……..just about then they round the corner to open water and cross some boat wakes….YEEEE HAWWWWWW this baby will fly….now THAT’S excitement…..caught Ed a little off guard and he was without his white knuckle grip on the side rail as he flailed and bounced around the fine imitation Italian leather upholstered seats…..enjoying the comfort and firm support offered by the plywood under the seat cushion……this is gonna leave a mark…..Ed says to himself….
Rut Roh…..that boat wake was just the beginning……looks pretty damn widy down thisa way…..holy crap says Ed…this boat is more like a pinball……bouncing and careening off these massive 2 footers…..after about 10 of these critters Ed see’s they’re getting bigger…he also notices that the bow’s pretty damned high….and politely suggests that JQ “trim it down”……well they hit a few more with the same acrobatics…..mind ya now…they’s getting bigger with every second that ticks by…..when sploosh….Ed takes a wave right in the face…that there’s a first class spear’in job right there…..…..”TRIM IT DOWN” Ed repeats……good ol JQ finally trims her down as they spear another one……..Ed’s looking at his watch and it aint looking good….but now JQ’s slowed down…way down…JQ musta felt bad about getting ‘ol Ed wet cuz now he’s drivin like a sane man would in a rig like this…..Ed tells JQ not to worry about getting him wet and to hammer down…….so JQ does just that…guess it wasn’t JQ slowin down after all…that trim job was actin like an anchor….well they make the bouys with a solid 30 seconds to spare…..and Ed opens the well up to see they they’re bone dry….”fill the wells” says Ed………”oh yeah” proclaims JQ…”are they alive???”…..well….in case anyone’s wonderin..the fish were alive and kicking when I turned ‘em loose…..I’m sure they were a little more bruised and sore than I was the next day….but hell….I survived and hopefully they did too…….
Ed saw JQ the next day…..he still don’t have no front light and Ed hears he had to overhaul his livewells twice and re-attach the trolling motor once too.
JQ’s a hell of a nice guy….Ed can’t help but like they feller….but he sure hopes that ain’t what it means to be a Pro cuz Ed’s got a lotta learnin to do if it is…….
It all started late in the day when AAA_Ed was waiting on the launch ramp to pick up his partner's boat. While in line he notices a rather dilapidated rig ahead of him having trouble loading his boat…..he probably wouldn’t have noticed this rig except that the Captain fired up his motor with it tilted all the way up then casually reached behind to the splashwell to trim down into the water……..Ed murmured to himself….with my luck, I’ll get paired with this guy!
Later that night, Ed calls the guy he’s paired with the next day to make the usual arrangements….he’s paired with….we’ll Call Him JQ….. Now JQ’s had a bad day…..never got so much as a bite….weighed in one fish caught by his partner. When JQ describes his truck and boat, Ed realizes that he had cursed himself with what he’d said earlier on the ramp…..
Now JQ gets his name cuz he sorta resembles a Buccaneer…no, not the football wielding kind…the sabre wielding fellers decorated with shiny rings, tattoos, and piercings and that fancy patch of whiskers on his chin…..yessir, JQ would make a mighty fine pirate.
Ed thought long and hard about offering to bring his own boat tomorrow but figured…”how bad could it be?”….besides…that might offend this feller, and the last thing Ed wanted to was to offend good ‘ol JQ the pirate!
So the next morning Ed meets JQ on the ramp as planned…..as he’s loading his gear into the “boat” a sick feeling comes over him and his right heel periodically moves towards his hind end kinda sending a subliminal message that Ed had screwed up by leaving his boat at the hotel. Ed’s fancy schmancy rods are dangling precariously over the side of the “boat” so Ed quickly figures out a way to tie ‘em down with a bungee he’s got tucked away. Later he’s gonna hafta figure out how to cast over them since they’re standin damn near straight up…..
At this point, JQ goes through how he wants the boat backed into the lake and politely informs Ed that after parking the tow rig, he’s gotta release the hood, and disconnect the battery cable….”otherwise the battery’ll be dead when we get back”……Ed felt a slight bit of comfort that JQ was confident we’d “get back”.
Ed fires up the rig with a mighty rumble and is gently serenaded at 90 decibels by the lulling sounds of a viscous rotweiler attacking the neighbor……better known as Pantera…or some such band…… this lullaby emanating from JQ’s premium Hi Fi stereo system…Ed fumbles around and finds a muzzle for the barking dawg and turns off the radio. As Ed drives through the livewell check line, he informs one of the staffers that he doesn’t think ‘ol JQ’s pirate boat will make it through the day and asks how this one slipped by the tech inspection……evidently, there ain’t no tech inspection at this prestigious event. Mr Staffer recommends that Ed speak to the Tourney Director if he’s really THAT concerned…..
Ed parks the truck pops the hood, pulls the cable….then realizes that he forgot to use the electric locks and walks around locking each door by hand…..some of the doors didn’t have no door panels, and Ed’s wish’in he had his flashlight.
Ed takes Mr Staffer’s advice and talks to Mr. Tourney Driector. Mr TD asks…what kinda boat is it? Ed scratches his head and all be damned but he don’t even know….”never heard of it” says Ed…..Mr TD eventually says.”nobody’s forcing you to go out today”..and that was that……well, Ed see’s how it’s gonna be and hopes his insurance is paid up as he marches to the ramp…..”hey at least we’re in the first flight……with a low number!” says Ed.
Ed hops in the “boat” and quickly notices the front light isn’t working…..he asks JQ about the light…..JQ says it’s probably the bulb and proceeds to idle out towards the line up. Now Ed’s not one to sit around so he takes it upon himself to fix the light…..he takes it apart and finds the bulb is OK….informs JQ (who doesn’t seem to care that Ed is dismantling his “boat” without first asking)….Now JQ casually says “the wires musta broke when we was in that rough water yesterday…….ya see…the troll batteries are in the rod locker cuz the wiring is all fried and the motor wont work with the batteries in the back….so I wired it up direct”……Ed notes the heavy wires leading out of the rod locker to some of them fancy clips he seen on one of them battery chargers…..looks like you clamp to that bare part of the wire leadin to the troll motor when ya wanna use it……Lucky for Ed, JQ has wrapped the black wire in tape….musta been some fireworks in the rough water…..About that time, the bilge pump kicks in and pumps for a few seconds and shuts off……”is that normal?” says Ed….”yup…..something back there leaks a little”……”ever thought about fixing that?” says Ed…..”well I just got it out of the shop…had to pay $1300 but I guess they didn’t fix that”………”that’s why I didn’t get to practice”…..”oh, I see…well at least the pump works!” says Ed…..JQ’s performance yesterday is startin to make sense and Ed’s done bruised his right heel tryin to kick hisself in the rear.
Ed doesn’t get anywhere with the light and JQ doesn’t seem the least bit compelled to fix it so he heads up to the front part of the line……Ed informs JQ that they’re gonna send him to the back of the line….but JQ is confident they “wont notice” and we’ll slip through.
Well, sure enough, they call JQ and Ed’s number and they get sent off to the side…….and watch 133 boats go by…Ed didn’t realize what a cluster @$%! It was to launch a tourney…this is a great opportunity to see some things he don’t normally get to watch…..bumper boats is the best way to describe it…last boat is called and we’re cleared for take-off. Bilge pump still works as is evident by the strong stream pumping out the side again…..that’s good!….Ed says to himself…..Ed says a prayer to the big guy and hopes the wind don’t blow…..Ed’s a good swimmer but he never sent his tackle and rods to swimming lessons……Ed’s heel twitches again…
JQ heads for open water and does his thing with the trim back behind the seat and we’re off like a herd of turtles. Surely a 17’ boat with a 150 will get up and go……we top out at a brisk 42 Mph as we head to fertile fishing grounds……Ed never realized how cool a fast boat looks screaming past you but he don’t like getting sprayed by the rooster tail all that much…
Arriving at the first spot, Ed is comforted a bit cause he’s fished this spot before and did pretty good….Ed knows he’s gonna fish and hey….at least Ed didn’t have to swim to get there. JQ asks Ed….”what should we throw”….so Ed recommends a topwater or some sort of reaction for the front of the boat and something slower to bring up the rear…….well….they fish around for a couple of hours catching a dink here and there…..then ED hooks into a decent keeper and hollers for the net. All right we’re on the board exclaims Ed as he swings the fish in……and into the livewell goes a nice pound and ¾ largemouth. JQ proceeds to fill up the wells then requests that Ed help him to remember that they’ll need to occasionally fill em back up….”cuz the hoses back there leak a little”. No worries. Ed’ll help remember….the bilge kicks in, and once again, proves that it’s still functioning.
Ed checks the fish a bit later and sure enough, jaws’ dorsal is hanging out of the water…..JQ fills ‘er up and Jaws is happy once again……JQ informs Ed that if we forget, the fish will just flop around and let us know, so there’s nothing to worry about……Good to know JQ’s got this all figured out…
Now JQ is prolly one of the nicest people Ed’s ever met and he’s having a hard time getting mad at ‘em despite JQ’s casual approach to fishing. Ya see….JQ likes to take a lot of breaks…..he musta had some sore muscles cause he stretched a lot….and JQ must have sumthin against fishing and eating candy bars….and fishing and smoking cigarettes…and fishin and drinking sodie pop, cuz he didn’t like doin either one at the same time….ever’bodys got their hang ups thinks Ed….
Well… by now it’s closing in on 9:30 and Ed n JQ are fishing into “the wind”…..Ed notices that they aint movin and asks JQ what’s wrong……JQ says he thinks his trolling battery is about dead cuz he got the motor on high and he just can’t buck this 5 Mph hurricane……but Ed is comforted once again when JQ notifies him that he charged the battery the night before and he’s got a spare “just in case”. There goes the bilge again….nice to know it’s still workin.
JQ and Ed decide they’re gonna make a move…but first JQ fills up the wells……well, JQ musta filled ‘em up too much cuz they can’t plane out…Ed takes a seat on the deck but that don’t seem to help much…..so they stop and let ‘em drain a little……alas they’re on plane and headed for the deep blue sea….Ed checks his life vest and gazes at his gear as if it’s the last time they may see each other…..
JQ tells Ed where they’re goin….and Ed notices that it’s a little windy out thata way…and asks if it’s safe to go that far……JQ states with confidence that he filled up the tank last night and that there’s plenty of gas..Ed was thinking along some other “safety lines” but this gas thing has him curious…..Ed inquires as to how much fuel this rig holds……..”sixteen gallons” JQ proudly exclaims……Ed gets that sickly feeling again as JQ explains how they nearly ran outta gas yesterday……so Ed talks JQ into a spot that’s just a little closer……
They arrive at Ed’s spot when Ed checks on Mr Jaws…….and sees that there aint no water in the well!!……”Hey JQ…better give the fishy some water” “oh yeah” says JQ…..”the livewell drains out when I run”……..Ed proclaims “that just ain’t right….don’tcha think you oughta fix that?”…..”yeah….but them hoses are real hard to get to” says JQ. Ed stands there in a stupor wondering how he’s ever gonna get as good as ‘ol JQ the pirate and become a Pro…..
After a bit of fishing, Ed notices that there aint no wind and they aint hardly movin……”whattya think about switchin out that troll battery” says Ed……”hmmmm….I guess I could do that” JQ replies reluctantly…..so JQ proceeds to unwrap the bare wires from one battery and hooks ‘em up the “good” battery. To Ed’s astonishment the “good” battery appeared to be almost as dead as the old one…but at least the “boat” will now move!
Ed’s frustration finally gets the best of him and he commandeers the front of the boat and begins working the grassline on the outside of the reef they’re fishing.
Ed manages to catch one more keeper sized fish but his hopes are dimming quickly as the clock races towards weigh in time. This is Ed’s 7th fish but only 2 are of the legal size limit…..dammit…..Ed thinks….he shoulda brought his RonCo fish stretcher…..
Ed now asks how long it will take to get in from way out here…….”20 minutes, but we’ll give ourselves 30…just in case” says JQ…now that’s the best idea JQ’s had all day, or so Ed thought…..Ed informs JQ that he’d like to fish up to the last minute and that maybe JQ should get all his gear in order while Ed fished…seeins how JQ likes to take his time and such..…JQ agrees and they fish on….lookin for that one last bite……….
The clock ticks on and it’s time to start packing….Ed advises JQ to pack up…we gotta get goin in a couple minutes……..so JQ casually fishes on…..Ed decides to start gathering up some gear to give ‘ol JQ the hint……but JQ fishes on…..They’re now down to 26 minutes to get in and Ed’s getting nervous…..he pulls up the trolling motor and attempts to strap the motor down and wonders what’s actually holding it on the boat to begin with……It kinda moved like one of them slinky toys when ya folded it up………JQ states that it’s “a little tricky” to tie down and that he better do it…………Ed agrees….
Ed checks the wells and asks if there’s enough water to make weigh in???….JQ says they’ll probably have to stop along they way fo fill ‘em up.
They head off……JQ reaches back to do his trim thing…..the turtles strain to break into a stampede but it just ain’t happenin……..Ed jumps up on the front and feels like a surfer riding “the big one” as the boat finally rocks over and gets on plane…the turtles sigh in relief…..”at least the wind’s not blowing” Ed thinks to himself……
As they race towards weigh-in Ed checks on the fish…..4” remaining…..doesn’t look good for Mr and Mrs Jaws……..JQ asks if they should stop to fill ‘em up……so Ed points to his watch and asks if they have time to make it in as is…..JQ says it’s gonna be close……..so Ed keeps an eye on the fish as they briskly race to the launch…a steady 38 Mph and the SS Minnow’s holdin togeter. ….Ed’s feelin a little sumthin on the back of his neck and keeps lookin around……..he don’t see what’s tickin his neck…then out the corner of his eye he spots the water pressure tube back at the motor….spraying a cool stream a water right at the back of his head……what a nice feature Ed thinks to himself……built in Arizona Misters……I gotta get me some of these for my boat……
Ed looks at the fish again and they’s down to 1 ½ inches of water…..Ed’s glad he’s not a fish……..just about then they round the corner to open water and cross some boat wakes….YEEEE HAWWWWWW this baby will fly….now THAT’S excitement…..caught Ed a little off guard and he was without his white knuckle grip on the side rail as he flailed and bounced around the fine imitation Italian leather upholstered seats…..enjoying the comfort and firm support offered by the plywood under the seat cushion……this is gonna leave a mark…..Ed says to himself….
Rut Roh…..that boat wake was just the beginning……looks pretty damn widy down thisa way…..holy crap says Ed…this boat is more like a pinball……bouncing and careening off these massive 2 footers…..after about 10 of these critters Ed see’s they’re getting bigger…he also notices that the bow’s pretty damned high….and politely suggests that JQ “trim it down”……well they hit a few more with the same acrobatics…..mind ya now…they’s getting bigger with every second that ticks by…..when sploosh….Ed takes a wave right in the face…that there’s a first class spear’in job right there…..…..”TRIM IT DOWN” Ed repeats……good ol JQ finally trims her down as they spear another one……..Ed’s looking at his watch and it aint looking good….but now JQ’s slowed down…way down…JQ musta felt bad about getting ‘ol Ed wet cuz now he’s drivin like a sane man would in a rig like this…..Ed tells JQ not to worry about getting him wet and to hammer down…….so JQ does just that…guess it wasn’t JQ slowin down after all…that trim job was actin like an anchor….well they make the bouys with a solid 30 seconds to spare…..and Ed opens the well up to see they they’re bone dry….”fill the wells” says Ed………”oh yeah” proclaims JQ…”are they alive???”…..well….in case anyone’s wonderin..the fish were alive and kicking when I turned ‘em loose…..I’m sure they were a little more bruised and sore than I was the next day….but hell….I survived and hopefully they did too…….
Ed saw JQ the next day…..he still don’t have no front light and Ed hears he had to overhaul his livewells twice and re-attach the trolling motor once too.
JQ’s a hell of a nice guy….Ed can’t help but like they feller….but he sure hopes that ain’t what it means to be a Pro cuz Ed’s got a lotta learnin to do if it is…….