Citizenship test? [Archive] - AZBZ Forums

: Citizenship test?

October 2nd, 2007, 03:18 AM
How to become a naturalized citizen in Ariz.
Oct. 2, 2007 12:00 AM

Federal immigration authorities have released an updated version of a test that applicants must pass to become U.S. citizens, and of course the government experts botched it.

The whole purpose of becoming a naturalized American is to fit in with those of us who were born here, and that simply is not possible when a new citizen winds up knowing a lot more about civics and history than we do.

So, instead of making it a requirement that new citizens know the correct answers to the 100 possible questions on the test, it should be mandatory that they know the answers that most Americans would give. And, more specifically, the answers most likely to be given by people living in their state of choice - like Arizona.

For example, one of the questions on the test is: "Who is the commander in chief?"

Correct answer: The president.

The answer most Americans would give: Oprah.

The answer most Arizonans would give: Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

If a naturalized citizen has any hope of assimilating into our community, he or she must come to understand the type of people who will be his next-door neighbors.

Another question from the test is: "What is the 'rule of law'?"

Correct answer: The idea that no one is above the law.

Most Americans' answer: The idea that no one - except for politicians and young female celebrities - is above the law.

Most Arizonans' answer: The idea that no one - except an illegal immigrant - is above the law, but definitely NOT a police officer who accidentally kills his dog.

It will be so much easier for new citizens to fit in if they are immediately able to relate to the rest of us.

Another question on the test is: "Whom does a U.S. senator represent?"

Correct answer: All of the people living in his or her state.

Most Americans' answer: The oil companies, Halliburton, or Fox News.

Most Arizonans (thinking of Sens. Jon Kyl and John McCain): Themselves.

There is even a bit of geography in the examination.

Question: "Name one U.S. territory."

Correct answer: Puerto Rico, Guam, et al.

Most Americans' answer: Canada?

Most Arizonans' answer: Who cares? All I know is that Arizona is beginning to feel like a territory of Mexico.

One can become an American after having gone through the long process of naturalization and then passing the test, but there is a cultural context to citizenship that cannot be dismissed, not if one hopes to blend in.

One of the history questions on the citizenship exam is: "Who lived in America before the Europeans arrived?"

Correct answer: Native Americans.

Most Americans' answer: Native Americans.

Most Arizonans' answer: Is this a trick question to get us to feel sorry for illegal aliens?

The best part of the citizenship exam is that those of us who were born here don't have to take it.

However, those who do have to take it would do well to learn the difference between the test and the real world.

For instance, the test asks: "Who is the 'father of our country'?"

Correct answer: George Washington.

Most Americans' answer: Dr. Phil.

Most Arizonans' answer: Sheriff Joe Arpaio.