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There i was mindin my own business sittin on the hill top lookin for illegal activity thru my 15X80 johnoculars when i see the window licker o the week. He shall be called Akmed. Ya see Akmed decieded that the road closed sign did not apply to him and his 2007 expedition. Nor did the sign saying no off road travel. So Akmed drives around the sign, down the road a quarter of a mile then drives down the steep hill to the bottom 500 yards down. Akmed has got some lake skank in the front seat he is trying to impress. So being the environmental terroist he is, he deciedes he is going to cross the little muddy creek at the bottom that the lake had just receeded from last week. Nevermind that it was 65 feet underwater 6 months ago! You go Akmed this is gonna be a show for sure. So there he goes and i will be damned if his back tires never hit the mud due to the front end sinking up to the hood in the mud. Now Akmed being the scud scientist he is, opens up the door and steps out to see what happened. Well, now he's out 1 pair of genuine Syrian made Bin Laden commemerative sandals.

Well i guess its time to have a little chat with Akmed and document in writing the error of his ways. so we drive down the road and then hike down to Akmed who askes if we can help him get out. Akmed we sure the hell can. matter of fact you wont have to do shit. You can have a seat in our air conditioned Expedition and just watch. Hows that for service. Well we pull the Lake skank out of the truck through the rear door and ask her for some ID. She opens up her purse and lookie lookie, there is a bag of weed in the purse shinin like a dime up a goats ass. Thunder thighed lake skank is now owned. So what does Bamby say, he put it in there because he was scared you would find it. Now Bamby gets a free ride to the hotel Madison too.

So now we inventory the truck so the tow truck driver can charge him $1000 bucks. (500 yards of chain gets real expensive on a 4X4 tow truck) So i crawl in the freakin Hookah infested Hadji mobile and I toss a Doritos can in the rear of the truck that was on the floor and the damn bottom flies off. Jackpot, out flies 70-1 gram individually packaged skunk buds and 40 Extasy bells. Akmed you are sooooooo screwed.

Now when we talk to Akmed at the station we ask him if those were his doritos, Ackmed says yes,he bought them for 3 bucks. when we unscrewed the bottom and out poped the goodies i believe his exact words were, "I am so F%@ked. Akmed, in more ways than you know!!!!!!!
 

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You might have to give up on being a cop and start your own series of novels.
 

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That's a classic. You have got to see some pretty good "entertainment" through the week. Great stuff. Thanks for taking him off the road so he doesn't plow into some soccer Mom and her 5 kids.
 

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Back by popular demand

There i was mindin my own business sittin on the hill top lookin for illegal activity thru my 15X80 johnoculars when i see the window licker o the week. He shall be called Akmed. Ya see Akmed decieded that the road closed sign did not apply to him and his 2007 expedition. Nor did the sign saying no off road travel. So Akmed drives around the sign, down the road a quarter of a mile then drives down the steep hill to the bottom 500 yards down. Akmed has got some lake skank in the front seat he is trying to impress. So being the environmental terroist he is, he deciedes he is going to cross the little muddy creek at the bottom that the lake had just receeded from last week. Nevermind that it was 65 feet underwater 6 months ago! You go Akmed this is gonna be a show for sure. So there he goes and i will be damned if his back tires never hit the mud due to the front end sinking up to the hood in the mud. Now Akmed being the scud scientist he is, opens up the door and steps out to see what happened. Well, now he's out 1 pair of genuine Syrian made Bin Laden commemerative sandals.

Well i guess its time to have a little chat with Akmed and document in writing the error of his ways. so we drive down the road and then hike down to Akmed who askes if we can help him get out. Akmed we sure the hell can. matter of fact you wont have to do shit. You can have a seat in our air conditioned Expedition and just watch. Hows that for service. Well we pull the Lake skank out of the truck through the rear door and ask her for some ID. She opens up her purse and lookie lookie, there is a bag of weed in the purse shinin like a dime up a goats ass. Thunder thighed lake skank is now owned. So what does Bamby say, he put it in there because he was scared you would find it. Now Bamby gets a free ride to the hotel Madison too.

So now we inventory the truck so the tow truck driver can charge him $1000 bucks. (500 yards of chain gets real expensive on a 4X4 tow truck) So i crawl in the freakin Hookah infested Hadji mobile and I toss a Doritos can in the rear of the truck that was on the floor and the damn bottom flies off. Jackpot, out flies 70-1 gram individually packaged skunk buds and 40 Extasy bells. Akmed you are sooooooo screwed.

Now when we talk to Akmed at the station we ask him if those were his doritos, Ackmed says yes,he bought them for 3 bucks. when we unscrewed the bottom and out poped the goodies i believe his exact words were, "I am so F%@ked. Akmed, in more ways than you know!!!!!!!

:Iconrotfl :Iconrotfl :Iconrotfl



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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
Ya know many times in my career i have held up a baggie and had that shit eatin smile on my face!
 

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dude I truly am jealous of your job! I have to deal with a bunch of whining ass people complaining of "medical problems" all day. and to make things worse, I have to act like I actually give a shit that you have a headache at 0300 in the morning!
 

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great story BC, man I miss these, like a bedtime story, need at least one a week if time permits?
 

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Thats is great...The story would have been better if Akmed's girlfriend gave you a reach around while Akmed's in the back of the car and then she thinks she was getting off but then you throw her in the car too....
 

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dude I truly am jealous of your job! I have to deal with a bunch of whining ass people complaining of "medical problems" all day. and to make things worse, I have to act like I actually give a shit that you have a headache at 0300 in the morning!
Nothing like having a qualified health care profesional taking care of people. Remind me not to give a shit if you need help.
 

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killer story BC thanks
 
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