Joined
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7,249 Posts
Subject: The 7 Degrees of Blondness
1st Degree
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment,
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
2nd Degree
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror,
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second
blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
3rd Degree
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th Degree
A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."
5th Degree
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th Degree
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch. "Wow!"
the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped
on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along
this road when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and
there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There
isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging
back and forth."
7th Degree
Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she
had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the
house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at
the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her
face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND
policeman!"
1st Degree
A married couple was asleep when the telephone rang at two in the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the telephone, listened a moment,
and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
The husband said, "Who was that?" The wife said, "I don't know; some woman
wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
2nd Degree
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the
sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror,
and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second
blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's
me!"
3rd Degree
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and
buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she opens the
door, she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really
angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend
yells, "No, honey, don't do it." The blonde replies, "Shut up, you're next!"
4th Degree
A blonde brags about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK,
what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy: W."
5th Degree
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
6th Degree
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch. "Wow!"
the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped
on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the
blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he
surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along
this road when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me.
So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved
to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and
there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There
isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging
back and forth."
7th Degree
Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she
had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit
patrolling nearby was the first to respond. As the K-9 officer approached the
house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at
the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps. Putting her
face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions
stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND
policeman!"
:lol: Thank you Rookieboy! I needed a good laugh! :lol: 
